Well, hello, to whomever is reading this post. I hope you are having a beautiful day. If you have been following along with my blog for a while, you know that my blog posts are pretty sporadic. I write when I want to share a fashion post, when something is weighing heavy on my heart, or when I want to share a life update. I always tell myself I'm going to start blogging full time again (or at least part time) because I miss it and really enjoy it. One day I will find the time to do it again.
Since the last time I've posted, I opened my boutique in Downtown Pensacola, FL and loving every minute of it. If you're local you should stop in, if not check out my website shoppinkmarket.com.
Although I am experiencing such a happy time in my life, I am also going through a difficult time. This post is not for sympathy, I just figured that this post may help me and others going through a similar battle.
Okay, here I go ..
March 25th, 2017 I got married and shortly after in June my husband and I found out we were expecting. Even though this was surprise to us, we were SO excited. My husband was always told that he wouldn't be able to have children, so this was a big deal. After missing my period and being extremely hormonal I decided to take a pregnancy test, and then three more to confirm. They were all very strong positives. From then I downloaded the pregnancy apps to keep track of our little one growing every week and patiently waited until our first Drs appointment where we got to see a strong heartbeat and tiny tiny little baby which then looked like a ball. I found out that I was only 6 weeks and 1 day. We were so excited to announce and after confirming, we decided to announce that weekend, which was July 1st. I had a really great pregnancy up to this point; no morning sickness, just a little emotional outbursts here and there.
About three weeks after we announced, I started spotting and continued for a few more weeks. I called the nurse the first time and they said it was normal, but when it continued they were a bit concerned and asked us to come in right away for an ultrasound. When we arrived they took us right back and immediately confirmed a very active baby. We were both so excited and amazed. We left the Doctor's office feeling relieved and continued on with our week.
That weekend something changed. I was no longer spotting anymore, instead I started to bleed. We got up the next morning and rushed to the ER where we basically got the run around and left with no answers just a piece of paper that read "Final Diagnosis, Possible Abortion." Those words scared me and I was so worried, especially since they didn't even tell us anything other than make an appointment with your Doctor first thing in the morning.
The next morning I called and made my appointment for the next day where we would have an ultrasound and then see the doctor. We were both pretty nervous.
It is finally time for our appointment and we go straight back for the ultrasound. I get gel on my stomach and then the probe starts moving around. I look up to see our baby and there it was, not moving just staying still. It was then confirmed she could not detect a heartbeat. And then the tears started to flow.
I won't go into anymore personal details, but that was by far one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. Our baby was already so loved and I was so attached.
This past month has been difficult and without God I wouldn't have been able to overcome this. I am trusting in God's plan for us and trusting that He has his reasons for everything and that is what's keeping me going. This has brought my husband and I closer together and closer to God and to be honest, we needed that. I have been doing a lot of praying and reading. It has really helped me.
This was such a hard time in our life and we really appreciated the people who came to us with prayers and kind words. It also showed us who was really there for us. If you know someone who has recently experienced a miscarriage, I encourage you to reach out to them and let them know you are thinking and praying for them; trust me it helps and means more than you know. I received many sweet messages, prayers, and quotes; and let me tell you it helped build me up.
Although this book has nothing to do with people who go through miscarriage, it really helped me. I think all women should read this book; Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. I related to every chapter in this book and it really helped my positivity.
If you are someone who has been through a miscarriage, just know you are not alone. It wasn't until I experienced it that I found out so many people have gone through the same thing.I think it is great to talk about it because it helps you get through it. God has a plan for us and He does for you too, don't ever forget that.